Pending Passions

When asked how much I know a person, there are a couple of things that run around in my head. I think you never really stop knowing a person. I think you can never really know a person enough . And it's funny and sad that we think we know people so well that we can be comfortable with just being with them, with just being who we really are with them. I've thought that would be okay before, but when you lose that trust with someone once, you can't really get it back without thinking if all those years were just tolerance. Anyway, I've found that it's very rare to find people whom you can truly talk with. There are people you can have long meaningful conversations with, and there are people who just chat, scraping the top of the iceberg, the superficial fillers, until one gives up and decides to waste time elsewhere. I think it then matters what you mean by knowing a person because you can say that you know a person well by the many meaningless things you've t...

Pseudo Deja Vu Pseudo Deja Vu I live fairly near to this quaint food place (I don't know if I should call it a restaurant) where I am writing this post. In the few minutes that it took for me to walk here, I realized that I was forcing deja vu. We all know that deja vu is "the illusion of remembering scenes and events when experienced for the first time." It's the feeling that you've seen something happen that way before. Well, pseudo deja vu is, I believe, when you force it. I was forcing deja vu when I walked here because it's exactly what I did the day before. Pseudo or forced deja vu is doing something exactly the way you did it before to achieve the feeling of deja vu. It's what you do when you stalk or when you want to be stalked: you stick to a schedule, a routine, and do it the same way every single time. But this post is not going to be about stalking. No. I am going to talk about the many times that we force deja vu. Two quotations co...

This post may also be titled "How to Survive an Almost 12-Hour Road Trip (that Started at 1 a.m.)," but that would be too descriptive (and may or may not drive you away from reading this post). Also a fair warning, expect a lot of parenthetical comments (because they're the words that actually matter haha). Christmas for some people is spent with family in their homes, in front of the TV, eating Christmas dinner. This was also our usual celebration, but this year, we decided to shake things up with a road trip to Pagudpud. Now for anyone who knows anything about traveling and road trips amd Philippine geography, a road trip to Pagudpud (with all the rest stops and necessary traffic delays) would take about twelve hours. Here's a map. See, how lousy I am at pictures haha. Anyway to pass the time, here's what you can do (because this was what I did). 1.  Sleep.  As Ms. Universe 2014 advised Ms. Universe 2015 during her final walk, "Sleep if you can....

This is how I #hugot. Also, this gives you an idea of what I'm really thinking about sometimes when I'm staring at my work but not actually working. Only sometimes. :) *** It was still early. We talked about meeting up today, but I didn't think he'd be here at this time. I rubbed the sleep off my eyes and smiled at him as he came through the door. "Good morning," he said. "Good morning," I replied. "So early?" "I wanted to watch the sunrise with you." He hugged me. I went back to my room to change while he took his place on the living room couch. When I got ready, we walked to the beach. It was still dark. We held hands while walking. My other hand was tucked inside my jacket pocket, keeping it warm in the strong breeze of the sea. His other hand was in his jacket pocket, probably keeping it warm too. We were silent, happy with each other's presence. We found the rock that protruded from the small hill a ways from the shor...

As I count down to the end of this quarter-life crisis, I look back and realize how (it's taking me some time to think of a word to describe how) the past year was. I guess the word I'm really looking for is inconsistent , but maybe spontaneous  can do a better job at making sense of this post. So because I felt a bit spontaneous after the "surprise," here's my note to self. Part 1 The next time, if there is a next time, your friends surprise you by bringing balloons and party hats and a cake and some poppers while they're singing "Happy Birthday" in a room full of other people, forget yourself. Turn around and look at them. Really  look at them. You may not get a second chance. Look at how they walk toward you, smiling, singing, like fairies carrying gifts of happiness with their bouncing steps. (I really wish you had looked so you'd have a better description of what happened.) Look at their faces and remember that moment. Remember how you...

This post may also be titled "What Happens When You Give Me Money and Send Me Off to Impulse Buy." I present to you Coloud Headphones the Boom Blocks in Gray/Pink. All right, the story begins with normal workers like you and me doing our job and doing it well. By God's grace, a veritable number of points was given to me as SPIFF (somebody please tell me what that means). As had been agreed, it was appliance showcase quarter, meaning we had to choose certain appliances that were worth whatever points we gathered.  Indecisive me could not decide in time what to order (and I was on leave), so I consequently forgot to send my request. On the day of awarding, I was sitting, probably obviously sad because of my own negligence. So out of the blue, I was sent off to an adventure! Buy myself something and bring back the receipt. Ergo, the Coloud headphones. Admittedly, I have been eyeing headphones since last year. I've done a bit of...

Okay, way back in, I don't know, 2011, when I was still new to the world of social media and Tumblr, and when I was bored and extremely . . . wait, I think I was jobless when I wrote this. Anyway, way back then, I posted this on Tumblr. And I guess it really does still ring true today. The Twenty-First Time by Monk and Neagle Nowhere to live, nowhere to fall He used to have money, but he’s wasted it all. His face is a photograph burned in my mind, but I pretend not to see him for  the twenty-first time He sleeps under stars, that’s all he can afford His blanket’s an old coat he’s had since the war He stands on the corner of Carter and Vine But I pretend not to see him for  the twenty-first time He may be a drifter, he’s grown old and gray But what if he’s Jesus and I walk away? I say I’m the body and drink of the wine but I pretend not to see him for  the twenty-first time She’s twenty-nine but she feels forty-eight She can’t rai...